New York’s legal cannabis market just crossed the $2 billion mark, proving once and for all that New Yorkers will indeed pay premium prices for literally everything, including the privilege of getting high legally. The Cannabis Control Board announced this milestone with all the fanfare of a Yankees home run, minus the overpriced stadium beer – though arguably, the cannabis might be a better deal.
Let’s break down these numbers for a moment. The state has racked up $2.09 billion in total sales, with over half of that – $1.06 billion – coming from just this year alone. That’s right, 2024 has been absolutely blazing (pun absolutely intended). To put this in perspective, that’s enough money to buy approximately 400 million New York bagels, or pay for about three months’ rent on a studio apartment in Manhattan.
The real comedy gold here is that New York, the state that prides itself on doing everything first and best, was actually fashionably late to the legal cannabis party. While Colorado and California were already counting their green in more ways than one, New York was still debating whether jazz cigarettes would corrupt the youth. Spoiler alert: the youth were already corrupted, they were just buying from guys named “Diesel Dave” in Washington Square Park.
Jessica GarcÃa, Chair of the Cannabis Control Board, dropped this beautiful piece of bureaucratic poetry: “Our work extends far beyond issuing licenses and setting regulations, it’s about shaping a cannabis industry that truly reflects the values of New York.” I’m assuming those values include waiting in long lines, paying too much for everything, and complaining about it while secretly loving every minute. If that’s the case, mission accomplished!
The state just handed out 46 new adult-use cannabis licenses like Oprah giving away cars, with 69% going to social and economic equity licensees. That’s actually genuinely impressive and progressive, though I can’t help but notice they missed the opportunity to make it 420% for the memes. The breakdown includes everything from cultivation to retail licenses, essentially creating a whole new class of agricultural entrepreneurs who can finally answer “farmer” at cocktail parties without lying.
But here’s where it gets spicy – and I’m not talking about the Sour Diesel strain. Apparently, nearly 200 conditional license holders are technically violating state law because their shops are too close to schools. The kicker? The state initially approved these locations. It’s like getting a parking ticket from the same meter maid who told you it was fine to park there. The CCB’s solution? Extend all provisional licenses until the end of 2026 and hope everyone forgets about this administrative oopsie by then.
The bureaucratic speak around this issue is chef’s kiss perfect: they’re extending licenses to “address confusion.” There’s no confusion here, folks. You approved businesses in locations you shouldn’t have, and now you’re stuck between shutting down legitimate businesses or admitting you need better Google Maps skills. It’s the governmental equivalent of texting your ex at 2 AM and then claiming your phone was hacked.
The state also launched a “youth-oriented Cannabis Education Advisory Panel,” which aims to “empower communities to make informed choices.” Translation: “We need to teach kids that the legal stuff from the dispensary is way better quality than whatever mystery bag they’re getting from their roommate’s cousin.” It’s harm reduction meets capitalism, and honestly, it’s probably more effective than D.A.R.E. ever was.
OCM Acting Director Felicia A.B. Reid talked about fostering “a deeper sense of trust in New York’s evolving cannabis industry.” Trust in New York? That’s rich. This is the same city where we don’t trust the subway to run on time, the weather forecast to be accurate, or a dollar slice to actually cost a dollar anymore. But sure, let’s build trust in the cannabis industry. Baby steps.
The seed-to-sale tracking system they’re implementing sounds like Big Brother met Big Marijuana and had a very organized baby. Every plant gets tracked from germination to when someone walks out of the dispensary. It’s more surveillance than most airports, but hey, at least we know exactly where that Purple Haze came from.
What’s remarkable is that New York has managed to hit $2 billion in sales despite having fewer dispensaries per capita than a typical block has bodegas. Imagine what these numbers will look like when you can actually find a legal dispensary without needing a sherpa and a compass.
The bottom line? New York’s cannabis industry is thriving despite the state’s best efforts to complicate it. It’s quintessentially New York: expensive, complicated, slightly chaotic, but ultimately successful. And just like everything else in New York, we’ll complain about it endlessly while secretly being proud that our weed sales could probably fund a small country’s GDP.
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